Mystic Eyes 16
by Lika2
Summary: 48 hours in the Sakurazuka/Sumeragi household
1. Default Chapter

****Valuable Japanese translation: Oji-san-Uncle, Otou-san-Father,  
  
Hitomi-Eyes  
  
Thank Azure-chan for telling me it doesn't suck and for Miriya-san  
  
and Minako-san for beta reading of the first chapter.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
Mystic Eyes Chapter 1  
  
My name was originally supposed to be Setsuka, after my father's mother, but my uncle somehow stopped Otou-san from writing that name  
  
down on the birth certificate. I don't know how he did it. Oji-san was only a teenager at the time, and my father, who was nine years older, was much more powerful than he was then, and didn't give my uncle much credit for his opinions. However Oji-san came about it, Otou-san agreed to drop Setsuka and called me Hitomi instead, Sakurazuka Hitomi.  
  
The name was a joke. I was born blind.  
  
Oji-san, naturally, was ticked off when he found out about it and held it against my father for years.  
  
"I don't know why you're still upset over her name, Subaru-kun," Otou-san said one evening, his voice full of amusement. "I never thought you cared much about the significance of names. I remember you taking my suggestion once to call yourself after a dog."  
  
I chortled when I heard this. I could feel Oji-san's surprise when I did so. Oji-san always gave off an aura of surprise when I laughed, which was often. Years later, he told me it was because I sounded so much like my dead mother.  
  
"Did you really?" I asked, turning my attention to my uncle. He was sitting on the couch beside me, watching the news on TV. Otou-san sat on the floor at my other side. I could feel his weight brushing lightly against my ankles and feet as I rested my back against Oji-san's side, reading a translated version of "Interview with the Vampire".  
  
"Don't you think you're too young to be reading that?" Oji-san asked, above the voice of the anchorwoman announcing another trip the Mori made to Europe.  
  
"It's Otou-san's fault," I said, running my fingers along the paragraph where Louis talks to Babette after Lestat had killed her brother. I was hoping that Babette benefited from his words, but not for her sake. I couldn't care less about her. It was Louis I sympathised with. I always like Louis more than Lestat. "He started to read it to me a week ago and I have to know what happens."  
  
"Let the child read the book," Otou-san said, turning the volume of the TV up, as if it was a way of ending the argument.  
  
"You turned the volume up for the commercials," I complained. "I've heard this commercial a millions times."  
  
"Seishirou-san," Oji-san said, ignoring me, "she's nine-years-old. Isn't that a little young for vampire books?"  
  
"I'm turning ten in two week," I reminded him, as I had endlessly for the last month. It's not every year you turn a decade old and I thought the occasion warranted some serious present buying.  
  
Otou-san lowered the volume and, much to my relief, starting flipping channels. You can only listen to Playstation commercials for so long before you start wanting to murder half the characters on Tekkan. "I  
  
believe Lady Sumeragi made you read about demons and death when you were nine," Otou-san retorted.  
  
"Uh..yes, but that was factual... and it was for practice and..."  
  
"I'm doing this for practice!" I objected. "You never know when a vampire cult will crop up and I'll have to- Otou-san, stop it stop it! Go back, go back! They're playing GLAY!"  
  
Otou-san flipped the channels until I heard Teru drawl, "Oh, you're my everything" and then turned up the volume for me. Oh goody! It was "Zutto futari de...", my absolute favourite song from GLAY. GLAY was my favourite band. I had all their CDs and singles, and I listened to them until Otou- san and Oji-san knew every word to every song. Neither one was very fond of GLAY, although they did remark that Jiro was pretty damn adorable, but they indulged in my infatuation anyways. They spoiled me rotten, really.  
  
"You have this song on your CD. You can listen to it whenever you want," Otou-san remarked, and as if to further his point, he started singing the words.  
  
"I know," I told him. "But I like it when other people play it on TV  
  
or the radio for me."  
  
"There's no such things as vampires in Tokyo," Oji-san told me, returning to the point that was momentarily dropped. My uncle was not easily distracted.  
  
"I'm sure there's blood sucking monsters out there somewhere," I insisted. "I might as well know about them now instead of waiting  
  
until I become the next head of the Sumeragi Clan."  
  
Oji-san was the current head of the Sumeragi family. With the way he sighed over it, you'd think he rather attend a funeral. Since I was the closest blood relative to him - my dead mother was his twin sister - I figured I was the next in line, or my children. For some reason, I never thought of Oji-san as having kids of his own. Young as I was, I had an inkling that he had very little interest in women.  
  
My father laughed. "You might want to change your last name to Sumeragi before you become the head of the clan, Hitomi," he said.  
  
And just like that, we entered into the forbidden territory of our domestic lives.  
  
I think, had my father been different, I would have asked what was wrong with Sakurazuka, but I knew what was wrong. I felt Oji-san grow tense beside me. On the floor, my father remained nonchalant. Blind as I was, I could tell these things. It was a gift from my dead mother, heightened by the hunter instinct from my father.  
  
Oji-san spoke quietly. "She's a Sumeragi."  
  
"Yes, I guess she is," Otou-san replied comfortably. "Even with Sakurazuka for her last name."  
  
"It's just a name," Oji-san said firmly.  
  
"Is it?" Otou-san turned to me. GLAY was singing the chorus, which was my favourite part of the song but I didn't hear it. My attention was completely focused on my father. I felt his gaze on me and I knew he was smirking. I never liked it when him when he regarded me like that, like I was something to entertain him. I regarded him back coolly. "Tell me, Hitomi, are you willing to change your name to be head of the Sumeragi family?"  
  
"Quiet, Seishirou-san," Oji-san snapped, although I knew deep down inside, he wanted to know my answer. "It's late. It's time for her to go to bed anyways."  
  
I ignored him. "If I have to," I responded to my father crisply. "But I can't say I want to. Sumeragi Hitomi doesn't sound as nice as Sakurazuka Hitomi."  
  
"So you do want to be the next Head of the Sumeragi family," Otou-san persisted.  
  
"Of course," I lied, and Otou-san knew it was a lie. I could feel  
  
his satisfaction in knowing that I was lying and knowing what I was really like. It was so him. Always making assumptions about people,  
  
predicting what they were like and what they would do, and then creating scenarios around those people to see if he was right. He usually was. At the time, I resented him for playing those games. I was too young to pity him for it, like I do now. It was must have been a tedious existence for him.  
  
I felt some of the tension leave Oji-san beside me. Oji-san had no idea what a great liar I was, and he believed me. Up to a point. He didn't relax completely. My mother may have been the more perceptive one, but Oji-san was no fool. Not after what my father did to him before I was born. No one could be completely ignorant after that. Oji-san was well aware of my apathy towards most people. I loved my father and uncle, but anyone else, including my great-grandmother and her disciples, I had no particular feelings for. And more and more, these feelings of indifference seem to grow and stay with me.  
  
We were silent for the next couple of minutes, except for Otou-san who continued to sing the words to "Zutto futari de..."  
  
Oji-san shifted beside me, drawing his legs underneath him, scuffling my bottom in the process. "What's that book about?" he asked.  
  
I gave him the obvious answer. "An interview with a vampire."  
  
Otou-san burst out laughing.  
  
"I figured that much," Oji-san muttered sulkily, but I heard a faint smile in his voice. "I was just wondering, if there was a lot of killing in the book..."  
  
I knew he was really asking how were the killings depicted in the novel. Were they glorified? Romanticized? Made to look attractive and satisfying in a perverse sort of way? Were the killers given more credit than the victims? Would his child niece with all the blood of the Sakurazukamori in her veins see beauty in the taking of a life, and therefore fall in love with the idea and go on a killing spree after reading the book?  
  
Actually, Sakurazukamoris usually didn't go on killing sprees until they're about fourteen or fifteen. I still had a good four or five years before I would be let loose to scamper across the world, slaughtering anything that crossed my path and leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me.  
  
GLAY had finished the song now and the person on TV started interviewing people on the street, asking them random and really stupid questions. My father turned the channel again.  
  
Otou-san answered Oji-san's question for me. "It's about two vampires, one who likes to kill and the other who doesn't. Vampire life is hell for the second one, I'm afraid. I'm sure you'll like him, Subaru-kun. Anyways, later on in the novel, the two of them adopt a vampire child, a little girl."  
  
Well, that was news to me. I hadn't gotten that far yet.  
  
"Do they really?" I queried as Otou-san finally stopped flipping the channels. He seemed content with the 11 O'clock News.  
  
Oji-san stiffened beside me and then reached over to take the book from me.  
  
"Hey!" I cried, reaching up to grab it and of course, I only felt air. "I haven't finished that chapter! Don't lose my page!"  
  
He ignored me. "The vampire child, the little girl," he said, "Does she kill?"  
  
My father brought it up, so I already knew the answer. In panic I opened my mouth to answer but Otou-san answered before I could get a sound out.  
  
"Of course she does. She loves to kill. She kills efficiently and beautifully."  
  
"Otou-san!" I yelled, moving over to shove his large shoulders. He laughed good-naturedly and pulled me down to his lap. I broke free and stood beside him. "I haven't gotten that far!"  
  
"I hope you never do," Oji-san said quietly. But he gave me back the book. He knew he could never stop me fro me from reading it. If I wanted to read the book, Otou-san would see that I did, even if meant him having to go out and buy another copy. He allowed me to do whatever I wanted, and in a way, I hated him for it.  
  
I didn't like where the conversation was going, so I decided to  
  
change the topic. "I won't read it tomorrow if you promise to take me to the animal shelter tomorrow," I said to Oji-san.  
  
I felt him relax. My love and interest in animals was reassuring to him. It wasn't false either. I had always genuinely loved animals. Oji-san used to take me to the animal shelter and we'd spend whole afternoons petting dogs and cats and birds and other animals. Dogs were especially my favourite. I couldn't wait for a seeing-eye dog, even though I didn't need one.  
  
Most people don't realise I'm blind until I tell them. I can sense the placement of stationary objects around me so I never bump into anything when I walk or swim by myself. And I can also detect movement, no matter how fast it was going or from what direction it came from. Had I been able to differentiate where the goalpost was or tell which moving body belonged to my team, I would have been able to play soccer.  
  
Even though I hardly qualified for "handicapped", I wanted a seeing-  
  
eye dog anyways. I once asked Oji-san and Otou-san how long I would  
  
have to wait for a seeing-eye dog. Their reaction caught me off  
  
guard.  
  
"I was going to get a seeing-eye dog for someone once," Oji-san had said that day. He spoke in a voice so soft that I was not supposed to hear, but due to the heightened sense of hearing my blindness caused, I did. I was surprised to hear the touch of sadness in his voice.  
  
But it was my father's reaction that really threw me off. He remained unusually silent for a short moment, like he was mentally reliving some old memory. It was the first time I knew him to be so lost in his thoughts, and one of those few times I had made an impression on him. I loved him for it and savored the moment, short as it was. He then suddenly broke into his usual cheerful expression and told me casually it would be years before I would be of legal for a seeing-eye dog, but if I wanted one, he would get it for me anyways.  
  
Just don't be surprised if the dog disappeared one day.  
  
As I had expected, mentioning the animal shelter reassured Oji-san. I knew he was smiling as he shifted in my direction and reached his hand out towards me. I grasped it and we shook hands. "It's a date," Oji-san agreed.  
  
I grinned, happy that the tension was dissolved.  
  
"Are we going to look at the puppies?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Did Otou-san really make you call yourself after a dog?"  
  
"I'm afraid he did. Your father has a very strange sense of humour."  
  
Yeah, and I inherited it.  
  
"What name did he chose?"  
  
"Poochie."  
  
"Poochie!" I laughed my mother's laugh and turned my attention to my father. "That's a ridiculous name! Otou-san, why did you come up with the name, Poochie?"  
  
"It sounded like a good name for a pet," Otou-san replied amiably.  
  
I was only nine at the time, but the comment still sounded unsettling to me. I was going to write it off as "grown-up humour that kids don't get" and laugh anyways, when I felt Oji-san grow taut and rigid with what I thought was either anger or indignity. I now realise it was both of those, with a touch of hurt.  
  
"Yes," he said quietly, getting off the couch. "It was a good name for a pet."  
  
From the tone of his voice, I knew someone said something wrong.  
  
Naturally, I blamed myself.  
  
Oji-san picked me up. "It's late," he said, and his voice was tired. "It's time to go to bed. Kiss your father good night."  
  
I obeyed wordlessly. Otou-san kissed me on the cheek. It felt cold and impersonal, but all his kisses, hugs, and caresses with me felt that way.  
  
As he carried me to my room, Oji-san whispered in my ears, "Your  
  
father says the cruelest things sometimes. No one knows what he's going to say next."  
  
"I know," I said, though I didn't understand what happened in the living room. I was unaware of their history, unaware of the true nature of their relationship.  
  
He stopped by the door and held me close. "Hitomi-chan," he said gently, "don't ever feel guilty for anything your father is responsible for."  
  
I didn't understand that either. How could I? I was only nine. How was I supposed to understand that was talking about himself? I doubt even Oji-san knew he was talking about himself. "I won't," I promised.  
  
"Good," he said in weary voice. Then he opened the door and carried me to my bed.  
  
- - - - - - -  
  
End of chapter 


	2. mystic eyes 26

Disclaimers and summary in chapter 1  
  
Note: I've never met a blind person so I apologise for any  
  
inaccuracies and inconsistencies and so forth  
  
- - - - - -  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Oji-san and I had volunteered at the local animal shelter during the summertime and every time we went over there during the school year, the staff would allow us to take the animals out for a walk.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to adopt a dog?" Dr. Yuuki asked Oji-san once. "It would be a big help to us if you took one."  
  
"No," Oji-san said, and his voice was strangely clouded. "Hitomi's father doesn't like animals."  
  
"Really? Strange. From her last name, I thought her father might have been Dr. Seishirou Sakurazuka. He was a very good vet and stopped practising about ten years ago. He had an accident with his eye. I often wondered what happened to him."  
  
Just to let you know how dedicated my parents were about keeping me informed with my family history, that was my first time hearing about the accident.  
  
I asked Otou-san about the accident that evening and he told me a crazy woman had slashed his right eye wide open in the hospital. The revelation was something of a surprise for me. I didn't think anything was able to harm the Sakurazukamori, especially not a common person. When I voiced my astonishment, he reminded me that Sakurazukamoris weren't immortal and were very capable of making mistakes and getting distracted.  
  
I never knew - then - what distracted him. He avoided the question and Oji- san, who seemed to believe children were better of not knowing the less pleasant things of life, wasn't the person to ask.  
  
But he did bring me to the animal shelter on Saturday as promised. We took a large retriever out to Ueno Park. It was a well-behaved dog, obviously a very well care for and well-trained pet, despite the fact that it was found with no lease or dog collar near the Diet Building.  
  
We stopped by an ice cream and he bought me a chocolate double dip ice cream cone. We sat down at a bench, with the retriever at my feet, while I licked at the ice cream. The day was hot. I felt the sun on my face and heard the people around me walking and chatting. The retriever felt sturdy and fuzzy against my calf. I patted his head with one of my hands.  
  
Oji-san remained silent, but I knew he was looking at me, and feeling content. He liked the excursions we took together.  
  
"What instrument is that person playing?" I asked, hearing a high pitch chirp like a bird, but it was playing the tune of "Longing" from X Japan so I figured it couldn't possibly be birds.  
  
"It's a boy whistling," Oji-san told me. "It's not an instrument. He uses his mouth to make that noise."  
  
"Really?" I got excited. "How? Show me."  
  
Oji-san was reluctant to show me how poor of a whistler he was in public, but after just a little more prodding, he gave in. I put my hand on his cheek and chin to feel how his jaw open and lock as the wispy noise came out, and later moved it to his mouth, feeling his breath tickle my hand. Of course my hand got in the way of the noise, but I understood how to purse my lips and blow through it. I almost got a chirp out.  
  
"That was better than mine," Oji-san said. "You should ask Seishirou-san to help you. I have a feeling he's better at whistling than I am."  
  
"I will," I said. "If I could whistle well enough, I might try that plant experiment with my whistling." Our teacher had told us to evaluate the effects music had on plants over a period of a week. For that reason, I kept the CD player on all morning.  
  
Dog-chan moved beside me and I patted him on the head. "Would it be all right if I give Dog-chan the rest of my ice cream?" It was a double dipper after all, and contrary to popular belief, I was not a  
  
glutton.  
  
When Otou-san consented, I gave the last bit of the cone to Dog-chan. "You like that, don't you, Dog-chan?" I asked, getting off the bench so I could rub his face with both hands.  
  
"You really love dogs, don't you?" Oji-san questioned from above me. He sounded happy.  
  
"Of course," I responded, patting Dog-chan on the head. "They're better than cats."  
  
"Cats are smarter," he pointed out playfully.  
  
"No. Dogs are way smarter. Ever heard of a cat helping a blind person cross the street?"  
  
I heard a slight, "mnph," which was Oji-san's way of laughing He seldom laughed outright, but I knew when he was smiling at something he thought was funny. I grinned back at him. Oji-san the person I loved the most in the world.  
  
"Let's take Dog-chan around the lake," Oji-san suggested.  
  
"Okay," I said, getting to my feet. I took the leash in one hand and Oji- san's hands in the other and we started off together. I love how Oji-san's hand felt. They were bony, but had enough flesh to keep the grip from being unpleasant. He always held my hand tightly but not enough to squeeze; just enough to let me know how important I was to him. I remember being a very small child and him bending over to take my hand in his and saying, "don't let go. I don't want to lose you."  
  
I wasn't a small child - almost ten, probably too old for hand holding- but I still loved the feeling that someone was holding onto me because they were afraid of losing me.  
  
"Oji-san," I started after a moment of comfortable silence. One very wise person said if you could spend thirty seconds in silence with another person, you were friends for life. Oji-san and I didn't talk that much, not half as much as Otou-san and I, but we were usually happy just walking together.  
  
"What did Otou-san mean when he said Poochie was a good name for a pet?"  
  
Otou-san wasn't the only one who could throw a wet blanket over a pleasant event. I felt Oji-san balk beside me. Our steps seem to slow down or that may have been simply my mind stopping to wait for a response.  
  
"Hitomi."  
  
I waited, still walking, the dog next to my body, but I was waiting and I'm sure from my tight-lipped expression, he knew I was. He started to stammer something.  
  
And then we both heard a sharp, "pi-pi-pi."  
  
One of these days someone was going to take a hammer to that damn proverbial bell.  
  
"That pager of yours!" I snapped.  
  
"Hitomi," he chastised gently. We walked on as he checked the message that was sent him. Immediately, I felt him tense. He stopped abruptly. "It's Obaa-chan. She says it's urgent."  
  
"Isn't it always?" I asked sulkily, upset that he got off the hook that easily. I couldn't very ask demand the answer out of him as we rushed over to Obaa-chan, now could I?  
  
"Come on," he said impatiently. "Let's go to her place now. Makoto or Hisae will take the dog back to the animal shelter with you." My great- grandmother lived in Kyoto but with the recent earthquakes and what she called "mystical presence" in Tokyo, she decided to temporarily move near us.  
  
"All right." Otou-san had "work" and with Oji-san out, so I had to no choice but to stay with her. I resigned myself to the change and, like most people, felt better almost immediately when I did.  
  
We rushed over to Obaa-chan's rented house in Oji-san's car. His anxiety and impatience was obvious. He made quick, jerky turns in attempt to get past the traffic and muttered, "come on" more than once. I noted all this with cool detachment, the realisation already fully known and accepted by the time we got to Obaa-chan's house. She was waiting for us in the front yard.  
  
"Obaa-chan," Oji-san said, bowing quickly to her. Even in his anxiety, he remembered to be polite. "What is it?" He sounded agitated, which didn't surprise me. He often treated his cases like the world was going to end if he didn't succeed.  
  
She spoke quickly, her voice authoritative and firm. "There's the address of a girl who's being possessed by a demon. She doesn't have long so you will have to hurry."  
  
"Of course," Oji-san said breathlessly.  
  
"And Subaru-san," she added. "When you're done, can you stop by this address? It belongs to a very good prophetess. She says she knows something about Kamui."  
  
"Kamui?" Oji-san said. The name obviously had some significance to him and Obaa-chan. "Yes, of course, I will."  
  
He squeezed my hand good-bye and rushed to his car.  
  
With him gone, Obaa-chan shifted her attention to me, moving her wheelchair closer in my direction. I could hear the rustle of the stiff, but soft material of her ceremonial robes as she reached her hand out to touch my head. Her hand was thin and bony. Having never hugged her, I had no idea the dimensions of her body, like I did with Oji-san and Otou-san. I always figured she was as skinny as a skeleton. "How are you, Hitomi-san?"  
  
"I'm fine, Obaa-chan," I said as cheerfully as my father did the few times I heard him speak to her. "Oji-san and I were taking Dog-chan here for a walk in the park. Is it okay if he comes in with us?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Obaa-chan, how's your health lately?"  
  
She sighed. "Good. It's fine. Thank-you for asking. And your father?"  
  
She never liked my father. I don't blame her. After all, he was the reason she was in the wheelchair. And yes, that too, I didn't find out until much later.  
  
"He's in good health and high spirits as usual of course," I answered jovially. I bent over to rub Dog-chan's ear.  
  
"That's good," she said absently. She patted my head once more.  
  
While Oji-san's touches were warm and full of love, and Otou-san's were affectionate but cold, hers were hesitant and obligary. I wondered how my mother would have touched me.  
  
"We should go in," she said. She turned her wheelchair and I followed her. None of her disciples were outside, but I didn't need anyone to guide me or help me into the house. I walked through the yard and through the door Hisae had opened for us without stumbling. After handing Hisae my coat and taking off my shoes, Obaa-chan guided Dog-chan and I to the living room.  
  
When I sat down on the couch, with Dog-chan sitting at my feet, the first words out of my mouth was, "Obaa-chan, who's Kamui?"  
  
I knew she flinched. "Kamui?"  
  
"I heard of him in a prophecy. He's suppose to the decide the fate  
  
of the world, isn't it?"  
  
She waited for a minute before saying, "Yes."  
  
The comment I made yesterday about being the Head of the Sumeragi  
  
family was actually a joke. I seriously doubt Obaa-chan would have  
  
allowed me to be Head of the Sumeragi family.  
  
Even though I was the child of her granddaughter, I was still the  
  
child of Obaa-chan's enemy. She never did trust me. The books she  
  
gave him were on smooth paper that I couldn't read. Never once did  
  
she bother translating one of her spell books or prophecy books into  
  
Braille so I could read it. We had the money to do so, but she  
  
always came up with excuses for not doing them. Otou-san and I used  
  
to joke and say she was denying the rights of a handicap person, but  
  
I could understand why she was apprehensive in translating those  
  
book.  
  
"And he is suppose to have six dragons with him?" I prodded.  
  
"Hitomi," she started, her voice firm and final.  
  
"Sorry," I muttered, faking the tone of a child who thought she had gone too far and asked too many questions. "I'll ask Otou-san when I  
  
get home."  
  
I smiled inwardly when I heard her sigh. She knew Otou-san read the books out loud to me. "Yes, there are to be six dragons of heaven on  
  
his side. And six dragons for the Kamui of Earth."  
  
That was news to me. "There's two Kamuis?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Is this what is prophetess is going to tell Oji-san?"  
  
"Yes," she said shortly.  
  
No way was Obaa-chan sending Oji-san to see a prophetess just him to find that out. "Is she going to tell him anything else?"  
  
Again her voice was firm and final. "I'll leave that for Subaru-san  
  
to tell you."  
  
"All right." I had gotten more information than I expected to anyway. I stood up and gently coax Dog-chan to his feet as well. "I think Dog-chan's thirsty so I'm going to get him some water, okay? And help Hisae with tea. Do you want tea, Obaa-chan?"  
  
She sounded tired. "Yes, Hitomi-san, thank-you."  
  
I started to walk towards the kitchen when I heard her say, "Hitomi-san."  
  
I turned around. "What is it?"  
  
She was silent for a moment. I waited.  
  
When she spoke, there was none of that firm or authoritative tone I  
  
was used too. She simply sounded... hopeful? "Do you ever think about your mother?"  
  
I kept my face impassive but inside, I was taken back from the question. Her question really touched a nerve.  
  
"Why do you ask?" I was really curious. Anything regarding my mother piqued my interest. Otou-san talked a little about her, and Oji-san, a lot more, so I knew about her cooking skills and crazy fashion sense and how much she wanted to be a housewife with half a dozen children. But truth was, I didn't feel close to her. By sealing her up in the Sakura, Otou-san did a damn good job of making sure I never felt her presence.  
  
Obaa-chan's voice was low, almost a mumble. "You just look so much like her for a moment. It brought back old memories."  
  
I blinked. "Am I a lot like her when she was alive?"  
  
She sounded sad when she spoke. "You look a little like her at your age. Her and Subaru-san. You know they were identical, right? You have Hokuto- san's laugh and her voice. And you're as a playful and cheerful as she was. Sometime you're so much like her and I just wonder..." She sighed. I waited patiently. "I just wonder how much of her is in you."  
  
I shrugged, hiding my curiosity and uneasiness under the neutral expression, and went in into the kitchen to help Hisae with the tea.  
  
Behind me, I heard my great-grandmother roll her wheelchair slowly back and forth, like she always did when she's feeling dejected and downcast.  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
End of Chapter 2  
  
More notes: Chapter 1 was a freak accident. I don't normally fic that well, so chapter 2 was originally MUCH worst than this. I really have to thank Shizuka-chan for helping me with this chapter and the rest of the fic. You have great patience girl! ^_^ 


	3. mystic eyes 36

Running one hand along the wall while holding onto Dog-chan's leash with the other, I made my way to the kitchen. Hisae helped me fill a cooking pot with water for Dog-chan and we got tea ready. By the time tea was ready, Dog-chan had enough water and I went to wash his pot.  
  
It was about then when the doorbell rang. I heard Makoto make his way down the hallway and open the door.  
  
"Mr. Sakurazuka!" he cried.  
  
I put down the pot on the drying rack. "Otou-san?" I yelled from the kitchen.  
  
"Hitomi-chan," my father called back.  
  
"Excuse me," I said to Hisae and grabbed Dog-chan. I lead him out of the kitchen and to the front door. I was sure Makoto was standing there and seing indignant at my father for being so bold as to come to the Lady Sumeragi's dwelling. I ignored him and ran up to my father. "Otou-san!"  
  
He picked me. He was much larger and muscular than Oji-san. I rested my head on his broad shoulder and smelled cigarettes. He had been smoking. Both my parents smoke, but Oji-san never smoked in my presence and forbade Otou-san to if he was there.  
  
Then I smelled the blood.  
  
I couldn't decide to pull back or inhale the bitter, metallic scent when I felt Otou-san's large hand on my head. "I see you have a  
  
dog," he said. "Was it from the animal shelter?"  
  
My blood went cold. My. Father. Should. Not. Be. Around. Animals.  
  
I twisted out of his grasp and stood beside the dog. By this time, Obaa- chan had wheeled herself to the door.  
  
"Sakurazuka-san," she said coldly.  
  
He was polite and cheerful as I had been earlier. "Good afternoon, Lady Sumeragi," he greeted.  
  
"Subaru-san-"  
  
"He was a little late, I'm afraid. He came as I was leaving. But I told him I was going to pick up Hitomi and take her home. I don't want her to bother you for too long."  
  
"Where's Oji-san?" I asked, as if I didn't understand a thing of what  
  
he said earlier. He was speaking in code. The three of them did around me. Trying to protect the child.  
  
"He's on his way to see a prophetess."  
  
"Subaru-san told you that!" Obaa-chan sounded scandalised and betrayed.  
  
"Of course," replied Otou-san casually. "He tells me everything. Now Hitomi- chan, why don't we take that dog back to the animal shelter?"  
  
I tightened my grip on the leash and said nothing.  
  
"Come Hitomi," he coaxed playfully. "I got something to show you. Let's take Dog-chan to the animal shelter and then I'll tell you what it is."  
  
"Okay," I said finally, but I didn't loosen my hold on the leash.  
  
I bid good-bye to Obaa-chan and took Dog-chan with me to Otou-san's car. Dog-chan woofed softly when we got to the car and Otou-san bent down to pat his head. Instinctively, I moved closer to the animal and wrapped an arm around his neck "Aren't you a good dog?" Otou-san said in a soothing voice. It must have been the voice he used with the animals in the vet all those years ago, the one that made them trust him with their lives. The dog moved his head and I heard him licked Otou-san's hand.  
  
"You must have been a good pet for your master, but you have no collar," Otou-san continued. "Does your master really care about you? Maybe he's forgotten about you. Maybe he doesn't want you."  
  
"Of course he does!" I said sharply, and pulled the dog closer to me. Otou- san ruffled my hair and opened the door for me.  
  
I sat in the back, with Dog-chan's head in my lap. "Otou-san," I  
  
said as he started the car. "Do you hear about there being two  
  
Kamuis?"  
  
He was pleased to be getting information of me for a change. "Is  
  
there?"  
  
The car was moving and I leaned back on the cushioned seat. "How could there be two? Do they both decide the fate of the earth?"  
  
"Fate never depends on one person, Hitomi. Everyone is linked to another person, and everything we do affects another person."  
  
I hugged Dog-chan and remained quiet for a couple of minutes. The car hummed comfortably. I felt the heat of the sun on my face, interrupted by shadows and shades every so often.  
  
Then I asked, "Who did you kill?"  
  
His voice was amused. "How did you know?"  
  
As if he didn't know the answer already.  
  
"You smell like blood."  
  
"Is that the Sakurazukamori part of you awakening?"  
  
I clutched Dog-chan. "Oji-san said it was my mother's  
  
perceptiveness."  
  
He laughed. "Yes, Hokuto-chan was a very perceptive girl. Very smart."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
"Excuse me?" I thought he sounded surprised and I grinned.  
  
"I can't feel her," I explained. "I'm an onmyouji. I feel spirits all the time. I even talked to a few. But I never talked or felt my own mother. Why is that? Is she in a place I can't reach?"  
  
"In a way, yes, she is. But I can take you there anyways. In fact, that's where we are going. There's something I want to show you."  
  
Dog-chan lifted his head and I patted it. "You're a good dog, aren't you?" I asked him softly. "You're such a good dog your master wouldn't desert you."  
  
"We're here," Otou-san announced. He stopped the car and we all got  
  
out, Dog-chan included.  
  
The autumn air was cool. I smelled flowers and heard distant birds and people talking. Small, cool drops of velvet kissed my cheeks and forehead. They brushed lightly against my hands. I reached out and grabbed one, fingered it. It was a Sakura blossom.  
  
You'd think my father would be sick of them by now.  
  
I dropped the flower. "It's not the time for Sakura," I told Otou-san. "Where are we?"  
  
"Ueno Park."  
  
"There's no one here," I objected. The voices and sounds were far away.  
  
No.  
  
They were right there, just beneath me.  
  
"Maboroshi," I realised.  
  
"Yes," said Otou-san.  
  
"Mother-"  
  
"She's right here." He took my hand that wasn't holding on the leash and lead Dog-chan and I away from the car. More sakura petals brushed by my face as I followed him. They caressed my arms and my bare legs beneath the skirt like large flakes of snow.  
  
Outside, around us, people were walking and having picnics. I heard a child laugh as she chased her friend in the park.  
  
Do they suspect, I wondered as I felt Dog-chan's sturdy body next to mine as we walk, that there is a powerful assassin amoung them? Don't they sense anything at all?  
  
"Here." We stopped and Otou-san took my hand and placed it on something brittle and hard.  
  
Dog-chan whined, then barked loudly, and pulled away. "Dog-chan!" I cried.  
  
"I got him," Otou-san said, and I felt him grab hold of the leash.  
  
I returned my attention to the object under my hand. It was a tree trunk. It was *alive*. It had a life force that I had never felt before. I felt it pulsing and rippling under my hand. It was so vibrant and strong and intense and-  
  
Anguished.  
  
Pain, Agony Sorrow, Unrest, the Gnashing of Teeth, the Wails of Mourners, the Cries of Slaughtered Innocence and Demented Sanity held  
  
in place with Bonds of Blood  
  
I pulled back, horrified. I realise it wasn't the life force of the tree I was feeling but the live forces of souls within the tree. There were actually souls in the tree! There were actual people, all trapped, all crying and wailing for relief from the hell they were in. The tree was enjoying with their agony, feeding on it, extracting strength from it slowly and luxuriously. It was perfectly mortifying!  
  
It was absolutely fascinating.  
  
"My mother is in there?" I asked, putting my hand back on the tree, trying to differentiate one disturbed soul from another.  
  
"Yes, but you won't be able to find her. There's souls in there from five hundred years ago. After a while, their anguish is so intense, the souls just merge into one another."  
  
Five hundred years! I tried to imagine being imprisoned in the tree for five hundred years, feeling nothing except pain and desolation and horrors. I couldn't for some reason. I put my other hand there. "Are the other Sakurazukamoris in here?" I asked.  
  
"Yes," said Otou-san.  
  
"Are how is living in the tree for them?"  
  
"Comforting, actually," Otou-san said. "We all look forward to it."  
  
I ran my hands along the tree trunk, feeling the cracks within the  
  
bark and the anguish and the grief vibrating beneath it. There seemed to be large, chaotic waves of twisted emotions and sounds, one tormented soul crashing into the next, pulsing against the bark, spreading out of the tree into my hands, one scream after another filtering through my fingers, flowing up my arms and shoulders, pricking down my spine, one vertebrate at a time, until I felt the whole raw energy of it all coursing through my entire body.  
  
It was strangely and perversely empowering.  
  
"Come Hitomi," Otou-san said. He took my hand and pulled me away from the tree. I walked as if someone in a dream. The overwhelming sensations were gone, but I was still feeling the aftermath of it, sharp sparks of energy shivering through my body before gradually fading away.  
  
"I want you to touch something."  
  
I was aware of an unmoving mass a few feet off. Otou-san lead me to it and made me get down on my knees in front of it. Then he gently placed my hand on the object. It was a nose. A face. Absently, I ran my fingers over the eyelids, the cheekbones, the lips. There was some warmth left, but I knew it was dead. "Is this who Oji-san was trying to stop you from killing?" I asked.  
  
Otou-san sounded pleased. "You really are Hokuto-chan's daughter, aren't you? Only she wasn't nearly as smart as you are."  
  
I heard Dog-chan sniffing the body beside Otou-san and then barking loudly. The sound of it made me jump. I shivered, and then regarded my father. "Oji- san wouldn't be as agitated as he was if he was merely exorcising a demon," I explained absently. I moved my hand to the throat. There no was pulse. The lack of life was strangely attractive. "The three of you were talking in codes again. You always talk in codes when your occupations come in conflict. Protect the child."  
  
I felt his satisfaction as he knelt down beside me. I felt his hand  
  
rest on my head and stroke my hair. The touch was even colder than  
  
the corpse in front of me. "How long have you known?"  
  
"In the car with Oji-san on the way to see Obaa-chan," I answered, although I don't know if that was true. It was then I was aware of it, but I think I always known about the conflict between my parents, like I always knew that Otou-san was a killer from my earliest memory; when he leaned over the crib to pick me up and I smelled blood.  
  
"Yes, this was who Subaru-kun was sent to save. He was too late though. By the time he got here, I had already sealed her soul in the tree."  
  
I wondered what the confrontation between them was like they met each  
  
other like this.  
  
Dog-chan had stopped barking and was now whimpering. I got up and walked to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Shh," I soothed. "It's just a dead body. It's all right."  
  
He licked my face and I buried my face in his neck. I felt his pulse against my face, the strength of it. It was vibrant and alive, something I sometimes felt I could never be. I wanted to stop it. To bring my fingers together around it and crush it. Feel the life flow out; the body start to grow limp and then cold. Marvel at how easy it was to snuff out that pulsing vitality and energetic, promising verve and enjoy the satisfaction that it was me who stopped it.  
  
My right hand moved down to Dog-chan's chest and I felt the steady heart beat under the fur. I remembering thinking, if only I could plunge my hand in there, I could stop that. I know I can-  
  
The same hand pulled away, as if it was burnt, and shot up to my mouth.  
  
Oh my God.  
  
I yanked from the dog, horrified at my own thoughts. Horrified at the knowledge of what I was capable of.  
  
"Hitomi-chan," Otou-san said sweetly. He knew what I was thinking and it amused him.  
  
Damn him.  
  
"I think it's time we took Dog-chan back to the animal shelter."  
  
"Yes," I said weakly, feeling sick.  
  
"We don't have to, you know." I heard the suggestive tone in his voice. "It's up to you."  
  
Up to me.  
  
"Yes, let's bring him back," I insisted, and got up quickly. I don't remember how we got back into the car. I just remembering hugging Dog-chan in the back seat, rubbing him behind his fluffy ears. I felt his pulse, and was happy he still had one. Of course I was happy and it wasn't because I was looking forward to stopping it. I wanted him to have one for a long, long time.  
  
He licked me, trusting me completely. I rubbed his face and whispered in his big fluffy ears, "You're safe. I would never hurt you. I never would want to hurt you. I could never want that."  
  
Liar. Liar. Liar.  
  
- - - - -  
  
End of Chapter 3 


	4. mystic eyes 46

Somehow, I managed to stop shaking by the time I got to the animal shelter. Otou-san and I took Dog-chan back to his kennel, and it was a stroke of luck that Dr. Yuuki wasn't there that day. The lady on duty was a person I knew ,but who thankfully didn't know about my father's former occupation.  
  
When we got home, Oji-san was waiting for us. "Did you get Dog-chan to the animal shelter all right?" he murmured as he helped me take my coat off. You could hear the fear in his voice; hear him mentally kicking himself for letting Otou-san pick me and Dog-chan up.  
  
"Yes," I answered, pulling off my shoes. "Dog-chan is fine."  
  
It was more than just the safety of the dog that he was worried about. "Was Dr. Yuuki on duty when you came back?"  
  
Otou-san answered the question for me. "No, it was a Dr. Sato," he said. "I had a rather nice talk with her, though I wouldn't mind seeing Dr. Yuuki again. It's been ten years since we last talked." He walked past me and I heard him open the hall closet to put his coat inside. "Don't worry, Subaru- kun," he added to Oji-san who was standing silent beside me, "I won't volunteer my veterinary services to them."  
  
That was so Otou-san, always able to read Oji-san's emotion as if they were Brailled right on his body. It was that part of him I disliked immensely. The way he seemed to read Oji-san's mind and mine and play with them.  
  
I turned to Oji-san and tugged on his shirt. "Dog-chan is fine," I said, not sure of what else I could say to smooth the tension.  
  
Oji-san returned his attention to me. "I'm glad to hear that," he said, trying to do his part in making the atmosphere more comfortable. Which obviously meant living Otou-san out of the conversation. Oji-san kneeled down to my level and said, "I'm making ramen for supper. Do you want to help me?"  
  
"Sure!" I said and started to head to my room. "I'm going to get Beloved, okay?" I liked to listen to GLAY as I fixed the meals, just like I usually had it on when I cleaned up my room and did my homework.  
  
"For God's sake," Otou-san said in disgust, "will you give that band a break? You played it since you woke up this morning and finished all of three CDs before you finally left to go out with Subaru-kun."  
  
Actually, while I did play through all of Review and Beat Out, I was one song away from finishing Beloved when Otou-san opened my door and threatened to murder the members of the band if I didn't play something else.  
  
(It became a joke between Kamui and I a year later that if I ever did become a Sakurazukamori and he turned into dark version of himself, that we would kill everyone except Oji-san of course and the members of GLAY and possibly Luna Sea only they disbanded soon afterwards so they became fair game.)  
  
"No one asked you to join," I snapped at Otou-san. I was still resenting him for bringing me to the park and exposing me to the Sakurazukamori side of myself that I didn't want to face. I had been acutely aware of Dog- chan's pulse on the drive back to the shelter. It was all I could do from running my hand through his heart and feeling his life drain away into me, giving me the same sensations that the tree gave me when I put my hands on it.  
  
I wasn't even ten yet and the pull was that strong. When I reached fourteen or fifteen.  
  
I felt a firm hand on my shoulder. "We don't need music to cook,  
  
Hitomi-chan." Oji-san told me gently and guided me to kitchen. I heard the surprise in his voice at my outburst. "We can just talk."  
  
I smiled. "Okay," I said, going into the kitchen with him. I think he was sick of GLAY ,too. Well, I have been blasting it throughout the  
  
apartment for the last six months or so. The only thing scarier than a noncaring, soul absorbing, remorseless Sakurazukamori is a GLAY infatuated noncaring, soul absorbing, remorseless Sakurazukamori.  
  
"But I have to play it after dinner then for the plants, don't forget," I reminded Oji-san.  
  
"What plants?" Otou-san asked.  
  
If I ignored him, Oji-san might pry to find out what was wrong between Otou- san and me. I stopped at the threshold between the kitchen and the living room and briefly told Otou-san about the plants and music assignment.  
  
"I see," said Otou-san. "When is it due?"  
  
I shrugged noncommittally. "Not for a while," I replied, "But I figured it was a good idea to get a head start."  
  
"It certainly isn't a bad idea," Otou-san said, and there was smile in his voice. "Subaru-kun never got to his homework until the last minute and you can imagine the rush he was in the morning before school started."  
  
I will say this for my father: he always knew the right things to say. I perked up immediately. "Did he really?" I asked eagerly and before giving Otou-san a chance to answer, turned my attention to Oji-san. "Did you really?"  
  
I heard Oji-san pulling things out of the refrigeration and putting them on the counter beside. "Yes," he admitted. "I was a terrible student. It's a wonder they allowed me to graduate."  
  
"You had your onmyouji practise and a baby to care for," Otou-san said drily.  
  
Even at a distance, I could feel Oji-san's contempt. "True," he said coldly. "There were a lot of things going on then."  
  
I had an idea of things he was talking about that went on in our household during my babyhood, but with Oji-san there, I wasn't in the mood to ask. I turned my attention to Otou-san instead. "What kind of a student were you?" I asked curiously.  
  
"A model student, of course," Otou-san responded as if it was obvious, which it was. He was smart and neat and organised.  
  
"Really? I figured you'd be a terror."  
  
Otou-san chuckled. "Well, in kindergarten, I did threaten any kids who crossed my path that I would feed them to the Sakura Tree."  
  
I chortled loud and hard, and then stopped abruptly, painfully conscious of Oji-san standing rigid in front of us. Immediately, I felt my shoulders tense, my chest grow heavy as I waited for either one of my parents to speak.  
  
The refrigerator door slammed.  
  
"It's a joke, Subaru-kun," Otou-san said coolly. "Surely even you can take one of those."  
  
Oji-san put something down with a bang. "I can't believe you would joke about something like that after what you did today." It was one of those rare times that I heard him truly angry in my presence. I heard him argue with Otou-san before, late at night when he thought I was asleep. He always tried to keep me out of the fights between my father and him. It didn't matter. I always heard them, and when they weren't about a dead body, they were about me.  
  
"That girl-" It was Oji-san's turn to stop abruptly as he remembered that I was there.  
  
I was standing still, feeling uncomfortable and guilty, as though I had somehow started the whole thing.  
  
"Go on, Subaru-kun," Otou-san challenged. He was the only one of us who was perfectly relaxed and calm at that moment. You could hear that smile again. "She knows, you know. She has known for a very long time."  
  
The entire apartment suddenly seemed devoid of oxygen, like it was holding its breath. My body was drawn up and tense, and I flinched when Oji-san said in a voice so calm it was screaming with tension, "what do you mean?"  
  
Occasionally, Otou-san can be point blank and he was this time. "She knows about our little conflict, Subaru-kun," he said, and every word struck me at the shoulders. Hard. "How I like to kill and how you try to save those I kill."  
  
The air was so thick with tension and shock it was a wonder Otou-san was untouched by it. He was almost serene. And I stood there, perfectly still except for my hands, which were grabbing and clenching the fabric of my skirt.  
  
But the person who was truly in shock was Oji-san, who said disbelieving, "impossible. How could she know?" And his voice grew angry. "Unless you told her."  
  
"I assure you I didn't," Otou-san said calmly to Oji-san's anger. "She's a Sakurazuka, whether you will accept that or not. She is born with a number of natural gifts. One of them is a hunter's instinctual knowledge. Another is the desire for blood-"  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
I was startled. It was the first time I heard Oji-san say that and it almost frightened me. Oji-san was the only person in the world who could frighten me for the simple reason that I loved him. The thing I was afraid of most was losing his love.  
  
I heard Otou-san give a dramatic sigh and then shift position. "I best get going," he said to Oji-san, who was breathing heavily behind me. "I have to dispose of that body properly."  
  
"Seishirou-san," Oji-san growled warningly.  
  
"Didn't I already tell you she knows?" Otou-san said innocently. "She's even touched the body today. If you don't believe me, ask her what we did after I picked her up from Lady Sumeragi's. You might want to think twice before leaving her with a dog after  
  
that."  
  
OTOU-SAN! I remember wanting to scream. I wanted to explode at him, to explode at Oji-san, to shriek and stamp my foot and hit something. But for some reason, I couldn't. I remained dumb and unable to move.  
  
Otou-san walked down to the door as serenely as if we had just finished eating a pleasant family dinner and closed the door behind him cheerfully.  
  
It was several moments after the door closed that Oji-san was able to compose himself enough to walk up to me. "Hitomi," he said softly, dropping down to my level.  
  
I put my hands on my face. "I'm so sorry, Oji-san!" I said and did something I haven't done since I was a baby. I started to cry. "I'm so sorry."  
  
"Hitomi!" He was clearly alarmed at my tears and started to put his arms around me.  
  
"It's Otou-san's fault!" I accused. "I didn't know where we were going."  
  
"Shh," he said, taking my hands down. "It's okay."  
  
"I didn't know, honest," I added.  
  
"It's okay," he repeated, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ears. "Hitomi, look at me."  
  
The moment the last word left his mouth, he flinched and I gave a tragic ghost of a laugh, knowing what he was mentally kicking himself for. It was strange. I understood the term to mean that I had to turn my face in their direction, so I didn't find it weird, although Oji-san obviously felt the wrongness of the phrase more than I did. After I laughed though, I felt him start to relax.  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked.  
  
I nodded my head.  
  
"Good," he said gently. There was a long moment where Oji-san collected himself together. Then he said, "Why don't you tell me what happened today then?"  
  
We sat down at the kitchen table with a glass of milk each and I told him everything about my excursion to Ueno Park with Otou-san and Dog-chan, even the part where I wanted to kill Dog-chan. It felt good to tell someone.  
  
"You didn't want to hurt the dog, did you?" he asked.  
  
I shook my head vehemently. "You know I wouldn't want to hurt him for the world."  
  
"I do," he assured me.  
  
"But at the same time I wanted to kill him," I said, feeling confused and frustrated. "I wanted to run my hand through his heart."  
  
I could tell Oji-san was clearly upset, but he remained gentle. "That was just your instinctual side," he assured me. "You'll be able to control it if you want to." But you could hear the fear in his voice, the doubt in it. He wasn't as good as Otou-san about hiding his emotions.  
  
"Do you really think so?" I ask, wanting so badly to believe it, but at the same, doubting it every bit as much as Oji-san did.  
  
"You're half Sumeragi," he murmured. "You have the power to do what you want."  
  
Half Sumeragi. Strange, when your mother's dead and you bear the last name of your father, you feel like you belong to his clan, even if you're living with your uncle and see your Sumeragi great grandmother occasionally.  
  
I wonder if the blood of the two clans were ever suppose to mix and produce a child. I was a freak accident, really. On one hand, I was part of a clan that killed people without feeling anything for it. On the other, I belong to a long history of helpers who felt, love, and cared for people.  
  
It's not wonder I'm as screwed up as I am.  
  
"I hope so," I answered him almost bitterly. "I don't want to hurt animals like Otou-san does."  
  
"What about people?" I guess he had to know. He put a hand over mine on the table when I didn't answer. "What did you feel when you touched that dead body?"  
  
My fingers curled under his hand, fingernails scraping lightly against the polished surface. "Life," I answered. "It's easy to wipe it out."  
  
There was more I wanted to say, but I was suddenly aware of how tense Oji- san was beside me. I didn't want to scare him away. "Oji-san," I said, "would you hate me if I became a Sakurazukamori?"  
  
He said, "no," so sweetly that it made me feel horribly upset. "I could never hate you. No matter what happens, I'll always love you, Hitomi-chan."  
  
It made no sense that his assurance should scare and sting so much. I almost wished he said he would throw me out into the streets if I became one.  
  
His voice remained sweet. "But I'll fight you," he murmured.  
  
That obviously didn't make me feel better either. "Like you fight Otou- san?" I asked miserably.  
  
"No," he said, and he touched my cheek. "I'll fight the Sakurazukamori side off you to get my Hitomi back."  
  
For some reason, I couldn't say the words or make my body act in a way to show how much those words meant to me. I couldn't even smile at him.  
  
But I think he knew how grateful I was.  
  
- - - - - - - -  
  
End of chapter 4 


	5. mystic eyes 56

Mystic Eyes (5/6)  
  
We had a small dinner, apples and crackers. Neither of us was really hungry. But I was tired. The events of the day had exhausted me and I wanted to crawl into bed and sleep, even if there was, as the expression went, "still daylight outside."  
  
"What about your homework?" Oji-san asked. Tomorrow was Monday and I still had't finished my math.  
  
"I'll wake up early and do it then," I promised. "It's only two pages. I can finish it in an hour or so. I'm just tired. Is it okay if I just sleep, Oji-san?"  
  
He let me of course. I took a bath, brushed my teeth, and got changed, and when I was done, he tucked me in. He patted my head and got up to leave when I said, "wait."  
  
He sat back down on the bed beside me. "What is it?"  
  
To this day, I don't know why I made that request. Maybe I wanted to give the impression to Oji-san that I actually did care. "Tell me about that girl who died today."  
  
The request pleased and touched him in a sad way. He shifted into a more comfortable position and started to talk. "She worked for a major drug company and discovered something that would have brought the company down, I believe. I'm not sure."  
  
It would be years later when I found out that Oji-san had to sneak around Otou-san's room to get bits of information that he could pass  
  
to Obaa-chan and her disciple to figure out who Otou-san would kill  
  
next. Sometimes, they would have disciples follow him, or Oji-san  
  
would. Otou-san was careful with where he kept his information, although sometimes for fun, he would just leave the name, place, and time for one of his "appointments" on his desk just to enjoy the confrontations between him and Oji-san when they met.  
  
"Seishirou-san killed her for that," Oji-san continued, and his voice grew hard. "Her grandfather will be crushed. She was all he had. She took care of him and now she's dead. And Seishirou-san just killed her in cold blood. He destroyed her life and the life of her grandfather. All because I didn't get there in time.. That girl and her family and others like them."  
  
"That poor girl," I said sadly, as if I didn't spend the afternoon stroking her dead body in dire fascination.  
  
But Oji-san wasn't fooled. "You don't care about her," he said absently.  
  
"I'm sorry." Sorry for disappointing him, not sorry that I couldn't feel anything for dead people and their mourning families.  
  
"It's all right." But he sighed.  
  
I shifted to my side on the bed. "Was it always like this?" I asked.  
  
"You really did know about it for a long time, didn't you?" he said.  
  
I didn't say anything, but he knew the answer.  
  
"Yeah, it was always like this," Oji-san said.  
  
"You don't like it." It was question of course, worded in a statement.  
  
"No." He said what we both had known for a very long time. "I hated it since he first came home with blood on his hand."  
  
"Why didn't you leave then?" I asked.  
  
"I couldn't leave you," he said softly. He must have turned away because his voice sounded more distant. "Hokuto-chan's baby. Her daughter." He turned to me. "It's such a shame she never got a chance to see you. She would have loved to see you. She wanted children very much." He gave an almost cynical laugh. "When Seishirou-san first told me about you, I thought he was crazy. But then I saw you. And I saw /her/ in you. You couldn't have been more than a few days old."  
  
He paused, and I waited for him to continue. It was the first time anyone told me something about my babyhood that didn't pertain to how  
  
cute I was. And it was Oji-san who was telling this rare piece of  
  
family history.  
  
He spoke as if I wasn't there. "Seishirou wasn't willing to give you up to me entirely, of course. I had to move in with him. I could leave whenever I wanted to, but I couldn't leave Hokuto-chan's daughter alone with that man."  
  
The bitterness he said "that man" with surprised me. I knew Oji-san was none too fond of Otou-san, but there were times I thought he almost tolerated my father.  
  
"Is that what Otou-san means when he says you're his pet?" I asked.  
  
"No," Oji-san replied. "I was pet a long time before that."  
  
Even at my young age, I understood that he wanted break from that role, to move out of out Otou-san's shadow that had held him back for so long. But for ten years, something had kept him there, and while I was a part of it, there was something else too. Something I didn't realise until years after he moved out.  
  
"When did you become his pet?" I asked.  
  
"I'll tell you another time," he said. "When you're older." And perhaps noting the scowl on my face, added, "I promise."  
  
"You better," I warned.  
  
"Promise," he said.  
  
I shifted under the blanket again. "Can you at least tell me what the prophetess said today?"  
  
He waited a while and then told me, "She said there will be two Kamuis, and I will be fighting for one of them."  
  
I raised my head up an inch. "What?" I gasped.  
  
"I'm a Dragon of Heaven," he said. "I'll be fighting to save people from the final destruction of the earth. I will be involved in the Promised Day." His voice trailed off.  
  
Just one surprise after another. Your typical day in the Sakurazuka/Sumeragi household. "When?" I asked.  
  
"When Kamui decides, I'll know," he said simply.  
  
"And what's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"That's all she told me," Oji-san said simply.  
  
"She didn't tell you anything else?"  
  
"No, that's it."  
  
"/Nothing/ else at all?"  
  
He seemed amused, but in a nice way, not Otou-san's way of being  
  
amused. "I'm afraid not, Hitomi."  
  
I growled in disgust. It was not the first time I had gotten half complete, ambiguous prophecies from paid professionals. "Why are all  
  
prophets and prophetess so frustrating?" I demanded.  
  
"They're underpaid and under appreciated so they feel they have the right to be so," he replied somewhat ruefully. In his case, that would be considered a joke.  
  
I scowled again but he didn't seem to mind.  
  
"Go to sleep now," he said.  
  
There were so many questions I wanted to ask about the prophecy, but  
  
something in his voice told me he knew as little as I did. So I let  
  
it go and pulled the blanket tighter around me. "Sing me a lullaby,  
  
Oji-san," I said.  
  
It had been years since anyone had sung me to sleep. When I was very  
  
small child, both Otou-san and Oji-san would take turn tucking me into sleep and either telling me stories or singing a lullaby.  
  
While Oji-san didn't like Otou-san's stories, which usually made even the most horrific murders seem romantic, it was the lullabies he objected to. Otou-san sang me the lullabies his mother sang to him and no doubt her parents sang to her. They were often disturbing, sometimes brutal, always dark, but there was one in particular that I loved, and it was that one I asked Oji-san to sing to me.  
  
"Hitomi," he protested, and the horror in his voice was plain. It was the lullaby he hated the most, the one I remember hearing him once telling Otou- san he didn't want to hear him sing to me again.  
  
It was the lullaby sung by the first female Sakurazukamori over a  
  
thousand years ago to her baby, and it carried down through the generation, a lullaby so sweet and pure in melody, and darkly melancholy in lyrics.  
  
"Sing it," I ordered, knowing he had to know the words from hearing Otou- san sing it so many times. "Please. For me?"  
  
After a while, he seemed to understand that I wasn't trying to hurt him by making him sing it. I wanted him to sing it because it was a part of me that I wanted him to acknowledge. And so he began to sing, in a voice so soft and pure that I had to hold myself to keep from shattering:  
  
"As I rock my darling child to sleep  
  
I think of Sakura red with blood  
  
Blowing in the Wind  
  
Blowing over lakes and trees  
  
Blowing over hills and valleys  
  
Oh take me with you, Sakura  
  
For I want to be free in the wind as well  
  
With my hands stained  
  
With the blood of the innocent  
  
With the weeping of the bereaved  
  
But not until my child, falling asleep  
  
Understand that she too must stain her hands  
  
With blood and tears  
  
So I can give you my breath,  
  
My Life, Sakura and I  
  
Blowing as one in the wind."  
  
When it was over, there was a short stretch of silence. Then he simply got up and left the room. He closed the door behind him, and then I heard him lean against it. He didn't move for a long time.  
  
I wonder if it was then that the seed was planted, because not much later, no more than two weeks, he would ask me to move out with him. We would tell Otou-san that we were leaving, and he would act like it was no big deal. Then we´d pack our belongings and move into Obaa-chan's house until we found a more permanent residence with the Dragons in the Inomoyama mansion.  
  
I wonder if it was singing that lullaby that started it, that maybe the lines about being free spoke to him differently from how it spoke to the Sakurazukamoris. Or if singing it, he realised that if he didn't get me away from my father, I would fall into the same fate. Of course, it is possible that it wasn't the lullaby at all. It could have been the prophecy, or the finding out that I knew all along what he was trying to hide. Or maybe he finally got sick and tired of playing Otou-san's games.  
  
Who knows?  
  
But I do wonder about making him sing that particular lullaby. Head of the Sumeragi clan singing the death wish of a Sakurazukamori. Perhaps it was a premonition or a sign, or worse, the beginning of a curse.  
  
If I had known what was going to happen, I would have thought twice about making Oji-san sing that song.  
  
- - - - - -  
  
End of Chapter 5  
  
Notes: The poem was inspired by a similar one found in Richard Adam's brilliant novel, "Watership Down", where Silverweed gave a sad poem about the deathwish of the rabbits in Cowslip's warren. It was a haunting and beautiful piece of work. I come nowhere close to its sadness and poignancy, but then I wasn't too. I am no Richard Adam, and for that, I am grateful. 


	6. mystic eyes 66

I did my homework as I said I would the moment I woke up. Then I got dressed and walked into the kitchen.  
  
I was nearly knocked off my feet.  
  
"What's that lemon smell?" I demanded, putting a hand over my nose. My eyes were actually starting to water.  
  
"It's the new dish detergent," Oji-san told me from the counter. He didn't sound upset in any way, as if nothing happened yesterday. Strange how disasters like awful smelling dish detergent can do stuff like that. "Got a free sample in the mail so I tested it on an old kettle. I know, it's very strong."  
  
"Ugh," I groaned, wiping tears from my eyes. I like the smell of lemon, but not when they're literally choking you. And with my heightened sense of smell, it was damn well suffocating. "It's like a lemon exploded here. Open a window!"  
  
"I opened all the windows," Oji-san told me. "The smell should diffuse outside soon."  
  
"It´d better," I muttered, trying to breathe through my mouth because breathing through my nose was actually painful.  
  
Otou-san padded into the kitchen at that moment. "My God," he exclaimed. "What's that smell?"  
  
Oji-san tensed at his presence. "It's a free detergent sample," he explained flatly.  
  
"I don't care if it does the cleaning for me, that scent alone is enough not to buy it," Otou-san remarked in disgust as he left to pick up his newspaper.  
  
Oji-san took my hand gently and lead me to the table. "Why don't we eat in the living room?" he suggested, leading me there with one hand, holding the miso soup with the other.  
  
I sat down on the floor next to the coffee table and sipped some of the soup. The smell of lemon was still clinging to me so the soup tasted like lemon too. I forced myself to swallow it. Yech. I wondered if Oji-san took it personally if I threw it in the garbage. Then I realised that everything in the kitchen was going to taste lemon now.  
  
Great, I thought to myself grumpily. Remind me to put that detergent company on the top of my "to kill" list should I ever become Sakurazukamori.  
  
Otou-san walked into the living and sat down beside me. "How's the soup?" he asked as I heard him open the newspaper.  
  
"Disgusting!" I said sharply. "It tastes like lemons."  
  
"Does it?" Oji-san, who had gone back into the kitchen for more soup,  
  
walked up to us and placed two more bowls on the table. "Do you want  
  
to eat anything else?"  
  
"Everything else will taste like lemon too," I complained.  
  
"I can go down to the corner store and get you some rice cakes or muffins."  
  
I brightened up. "Wild berry muffins!" I exclaimed.  
  
"Okay," he said, and started to pick up my bowl still full of soup to take back to the kitchen.  
  
"Oji-san," I started, "can I go to the animal shelter today after school?"  
  
Beside me I heard Otou-san flip another page of his newspaper as Oji-san said, "I'm sorry but I won't be able to take you there after school. I have to exorcise a demon."  
  
Just exactly how many demons were there in Tokyo City? There must have been more of them here in our block alone than in Sunnydale and L.A. put together. But I said, "Okay" in a polite voice.  
  
Oji-san sounded apologetic. "I'm sorry. I'll try to take you there tomorrow, okay?"  
  
I nodded and he left with the bowl. I heard Otou-san crinkle his newspaper somehow. "Boring," I scoffed. I wasn't upset at Otou-san anymore. My tempers never lasted more than a day.  
  
Of course it didn't matter with Otou-san how long they lasted or if they stopped at all. He more or less acted the same way around me all  
  
the time. "You'll be reading them soon enough," Otou-san predicted playfully.  
  
I snorted. Otou-san had tried to read various articles to me a few times. Other than descriptions on how people were murdered and articles on GLAY or other bands, I found them all incredibly snore-worthy. "Only old people read newspaper," I said.  
  
"Old? I'm only thirty-five. I'm not old."  
  
"Thirty five, you're practically ancient," I retorted.  
  
Otou-san reached over and tickled me. I struggled and yelled with laughter. "Take it back," he ordered as I laughed helplessly under  
  
his assault. "Say I'm not old."  
  
"You're so old your teeth are falling out!" I managed to gasp through my laughter.  
  
"Stop it, Seishirou-san," Oji-san commanded, yanking me out of Otou-san's grasp. In my banter with Otou-san, I didn't hear him come in. He put me down a feel inches from where I previously sat. I smoothed out the last of the giggles.  
  
"Do you want to come with me to get that muffin?" he asked. He was doing a beautiful job of ignoring Otou-san, like he always did after  
  
he failed to save a person Otou-san was assigned to kill. Mind you, he wasn't any more friendly when he did succeed, or any other time for that matter.  
  
I nodded my head. "Sure," I said.  
  
At that moment, his beeper went off again.  
  
"Why don't you quit your job?" I demanded in frustration.  
  
"You have no idea how many times I said that to him," Otou-san said beside me.  
  
"You two," Oji-san warned, and seeing how the beeping stopped, I guess he was checking it. He stood up and walked over to the phone. "Hello. Obaa- chan?."  
  
"Ugh, Hitomi, you're right," Otou-san said beside me. "This miso soup  
  
does taste like lemon."  
  
"Disgusting, isn't it?" I asked.  
  
".Now? But I thought we agreed this afternoon."  
  
"Very. Think Subaru-kun would take it personally if I came down with you to get a muffin as well?"  
  
".I can't come now. I have to take Hitomi to school."  
  
"He wouldn't have to take me to school then," I pointed out.  
  
So Otou-san called out, "Subaru-kun. I'll take Hitomi to school,  
  
okay?"  
  
I heard Oji-san mumble, "Wait a minute" and I guess he was just standing there because Otou-san spoke first. "For Goodness sake, Subaru kun," he said in disbelief, so I could imagine the fear and reluctance he saw in Oji- san, "there's only twenty minutes before Hitomi's class start. After grabbing a muffin, we won't have time to go down to the park, if that is what you're so afraid of."  
  
The exorcism must have been crucial and important because under no other condition do I believe Oji-san would have allowed Otou-san to take me to the school. But we both stopped by the corner store to pick up a muffin each.  
  
"Hitomi," Otou-san asked as I got into the car with my half finished Wild berry muffin. "Do you still want to go to the animal shelter?"  
  
The question startled me. The only time Otou-san ever went with me to the shelter was to return Dog-chan back to his kennel. Well, there was no harm done then. Plus Dr. Yuuki and the other vets would be there so surely nothing would happen. I agreed, and then got out of the car and went to class.  
  
School was boring as usual. The only thing that stood out during the day was sitting on top of the monkey bars with Rika. She was a chatterbox, speaking quickly and excitedly, and I could feel her hands moving everywhere as she spoke. She was so full of life. I couldn't help wondering if pushing her off the monkey bars would silence her vivacious voice and stop her hands from flying about.  
  
I wanted to tell Otou-san about it when he picked me up after school but I decided against it. We went to the animal shelter. Things went weird right from the start.  
  
Dr.Yuuki was at the reception desk when we walked in and he recognised my father immediately. "Sakurazuka-san!" he exclaimed. "I thought it was you! Are you Hitomi's father?"  
  
Otou-san laughed. "Yes, I am. It's been while since I've seen you, Yuuki- san."  
  
Dr. Yuuki was beside himself. "I've always thought so! Her eyes are  
  
the same beautiful gold colors as yours. Sumeragi-san never said anything about that. Or Hitomi for that case."  
  
"I never told her," Otou-san lied easily. "The accident happened before she was born."  
  
"That's right," Dr. Yuuki said. "I'm so sorry for bringing it up now,  
  
then. Well, I guess Hitomi, you know your father used to be a veterinarian now."  
  
I can't tell you think what I was thinking of at that the moment. I was at a loss of words. The whole situation seemed surreal to me.  
  
"He was one of the best," Dr. Yuuki continued excitedly. "I swear, everyone thought he healed the animals with a touch."  
  
"Yuuki-san, you're embarrassing me," Otou-san said with a laugh.  
  
"Well, it's true. You were amazing with the animals. It's such a shame that accident made you unable to practice."  
  
"Yes, it is." Strange, how the regret and sadness in his voice was so real. No wonder Oji-san believed his lies for a year.  
  
I felt myself start to grow angry.  
  
What right did he have to sound so *sincere*? He was nothing but lies and games, always playing games with who ever he met, and he had no right to be able to sound like he actually felt things, not him, not deceptions and secrets and ten years of walking around egg shells so I wouldn't set one parent off who would offend the other or offend one parent who would blame the other and--  
  
"It's weird but when I asked Sumeragi-san if Hitomi could take a animal home, he said you didn't like animals."  
  
"He was just trying to protect me. I haven't been comfortable around animals since the accident. It reminds me that I can't practice anymore and it rather saddens me, that's all."  
  
I exploded right there.  
  
"You liar!" I cried before Dr. Yuuki could say how sorry he was. I pulled away from Otou-san, ignoring the surprise I felt from Dr. Yuuki and the receptionist. "Why don't you tell him the truth?"  
  
Otou-san of course remained calm and nonchalant. He asked me casually, "and what truth is that, Hitomi?"  
  
"That we can't keep an animal in our house because you'll kill it!" I hissed. I was trembling, my feet set apart, my hands clenched into tight fists at my sides.  
  
"Hitomi!" gasped Dr.Yuuki.  
  
But I was on roll. "It's true, Dr. Yuuki. Otou-san kills animals." And thinking about Dog-chan, and all the animals I loved being killed by my father, I felt my fury grow. I whirled in Otou-san's direction and exclaimed, "He killed them back when he was working in the clinic all those years ago!"  
  
"Sakurazuka-san," Dr. Yuuki managed to say through his shock, "what's Hitomi talking about."  
  
Otou-san reached over to touch my head in a fatherly way, still cool and in control. "I think she's just tired, th-"  
  
I smacked his hand away violently. "I'm not tired!" I fired back. "He used the animals to ward off the side affects of his spells."  
  
"What spells?" the receptionist asked.  
  
I was about to say, "the spells he uses to kill people," when I sudenly realised how foolish it would sound. Everything I had said so far sounded foolish. My father had been very thorough and neat at cleaning up after himself. He made sure no one could trace any deaths back to him.  
  
"Hitomi," said Otou-san in that fake concerned voice of his. So sincere. So goddamn sincere! "Are you feeling all right?"  
  
I froze for a moment, aware of Dr. Yuuki and the receptionist shuffling in embarrassment around me.  
  
They must have thought I was a lunatic.  
  
I raced out of the shelter, among yells of "Hitomi." I didn't know where I was running. People were yelling and cars were honking and  
  
squealing and I felt the force of an oncoming car on my side-  
  
Someone grabbed me and lifted me off the air. I landed hard on the  
  
gravel, skinning my elbows and knees. "Ow!" I screamed. The car skimmed by us.  
  
"Be happy it's only your elbows and knees and not your head," I heard Otou- san growl as he picked up from the ground. I wondered if he was mad at me.  
  
I hope he was.  
  
"Come on," he said, his voice returning to normal. People were crowding around us. Otou-san assured them that I was all right. Don't worry; he was a doctor. He carried me to the car.  
  
"It doesn't look to bad," he said, examining my wounds in the car. They stung like hell and I told him so. "Serves you right for running in front of an oncoming car," he replied.  
  
"You make it sound like I did it on purpose," I accused.  
  
I knew he smirked. "It doesn't matter if you did. I'm just glad you're alive, that's all."  
  
"You should be mad that I nearly blew your cover," I snapped.  
  
"Why? That was fun."  
  
He was so frustrating! "Why don't you get mad at me?" I demanded.  
  
"Do you want me to get mad at you?" he asked.  
  
"No! It's just." I couldn't explain it.  
  
I think I kicked the glove compartment in front of me in frustration. "I don't mean anything more to you than just an heir to the Sakura Tree," I said angrily.  
  
Otou-san made no replies but I knew he was smiling. He turned on the car and I felt it move out of the parking lot.  
  
"You should have let that car kill me," I said.  
  
I expected a small variety of answers, from him saying that the Sakura Tree needed an heir to telling me I might useful to him in a few years . But I never expected the response he gave me.  
  
"If anything happens to you," he said quietly, "it'll make Subaru-kun cry."  
  
- - - - - - - - -  
  
End of Chapter 6  
  
End of Fic 


End file.
